Parenthood is hard with so many things to consider. More often than not, it’s those little things we don’t quite think about that end up making the most significant impact on our kids. In this article, you’ll find a list of the three biggest parenting mistakes of all time. Most importantly, you will discover what you can do to avoid them.
So what are the biggest parenting mistakes we make?
We all have the same wish as parents; to be the best parents we can be. But the truth is, we are all destined to make some mistakes. No matter how hard we try, mistakes will happen. The sooner we accept it is inevitable, we can work on finding solutions to minimize them and even avoid them.
1. Not being present.
2. We try to control our kids too much.
3. Not teaching our kids to be independent.
These are just a few of the parenting mistakes, but these are the ones that can have the most significant impact on them. Luckily, we don’t have to make them. It is hard to admit we all make parenting mistakes. But if we’re aware of them, we can try to avoid them and be the best parents we can be!
Mistake 1: Not being present
One of the most common mistakes parents make is not spending enough quality time with their kids. We often get so busy with our issues that we don’t take the time to really connect with our children. Yes, we ensure they are dressed, have food on the table and all the toys they might want, and we entertain them and play their games, but are you completely present while doing that? Thruth is that it can be impossible to wind down and switch off all our thoughts. Our kids can feel that we are not fully present, which impacts their development.
Just think about how you would feel if you tried to get attention from your boss, only for them to listen absentmindedly. Would you be inclined to speak with them again about that, or would you start keeping your opinion to yourself? You might not consider your children’s stories as important as yours, but for them, they are. Ultimately, that is the only thing that matters.
Show your kids that they matter. Stay mindful during your conversations or playtime with your kids, even if it is only a discussion about which of their cars can fly.
Mistake 2. We try to control our kids too much
We have an idea about how we want our children to behave, act, dress, or even what interests we want them to have. This is why we try to control them, influencing their decisions so they can match our own desires.
Unfortunately, life doesn’t work like that. We are all unique beings; ultimately, your kids will become who they are destined to be. It is important to give our kids the freedom to make their own choices and learn from their mistakes. They are individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, and opinions, and they need to be able to share their thoughts and ideas about the decisions that will affect their lives.
When we make decisions without consulting our children, we show them that their opinions don’t matter, damaging our relationship with them and hindering their trust. It’s important to involve our children in decision-making as much as possible. This doesn’t mean that we always have to do what they want. But it does mean that we should listen to their ideas and give them a say in the decisions that will affect them.
Mistake 3: Not teaching our kids to be independent.
It is easier when our kids follow our lead, listen to what we say, and don’t cause any trouble. Well, it is easier for us, but it can hinder their future success. The world is a competitive place to be, and being passive and indifferent won’t help them. We all want our children to succeed in life. If we don’t teach them how to be independent and become too invested in their lives, we can ultimately do more harm than good.
As a parent, it is vital to remember that your children are their own people. Especially when your 4-year-old is giving you the attitude because they want to dress themselves or prepare their breakfast without help, even though you are in a rush. Sooner or later, they will have to start making their own decisions in life. As a parent, it is your duty to provide guidance and support, but ultimately, let them make their own decisions about how to live their own lives. The sooner you start, it will be easier for both of you as you will go through the process of gaining independence together. They won’t have to fight for it later on or even becoming complacent, expecting the world to hand them everything.
We have started quite early with our little one with basic stuff. We put her in charge of tidying up her room and choosing what she wants to wear. It was a long process, and we have definitely made some parenting mistakes during it. But now we have a stubborn and independent little sass queen. Day by day, she becomes better about setting clear boundaries about things she can do herself. At the same time knows when to ask for help. This was really important for me to instill in her, as I am known to be a passive person that doesn’t know how to say NO because I don’t want to disappoint anyone. Hopefully, she will know how to fight for herself, make her own decisions and mistakes, and learn from it.
Don’t be discouraged if you have recognized yourself in one of these parenting mistakes. We are all doing them, unaware they are even happening. But now that you know what the biggest parenting mistakes we make are, you can be mindful and recognize if you are doing them. Take a deep breath, clear your head, step away if you have to, and start making the changes.