Whether it is your third, second or fourth, there comes a time in every woman’s life when she wonders if she is ready for another child. We only have one child at the moment, so I am constantly thinking if I am really ready for another child or maybe I should have only one.
The good experiences from being with your children and raising them might inspire you to continue being a parent and expand the family, but because those decisions should never be taken lightly, here are some things to consider.
Do you have the time and resources?
Every mom thinks she will always have time for her children, and that’s largely true. But sometimes it might be difficult balancing everything – a relationship, troubled kids with different age spams, a job… If your parenting experience is mostly related to toddlers and babies, you might not be so aware of the toll it takes raising teenagers or tweens. You have to make sure to share your affections, give each one their special time, make them feel loved individually and not only as a group.
What stage are you in your professional career?
If you are thinking about having more babies, you might be in a comfortable stage of your career. But if you aren’t, if you still think you need to work much harder in order to move up, then you should really consider if having a baby at this stage would be a positive thing. If you already have a child, chances are you already need to plan your schedule very well to make sure you can be a parent and a working mom. This might reflect negatively in your productivity.
Also, by the time you go back into the workforce, you might already be too old to return to your job and find a new one in a similar position. Working moms who lived for a while as stay-at-home moms often struggle to find a job that matches their qualifications and experience.
Are you an older parent?
This is a tricky one. Older women who get pregnant have higher chances of having babies with disabilities or suffering from complications during childbirth. Even though it is a very sad thing to think about, if you are an older parent you need to think about whether you would have the resources to look after a sick child. Many people are parents of disabled children and love it, but those who cannot afford proper treatments and childcare are often stranded with nowhere to turn. It might be a strange thing I ask you to consider, but even doctors will let you know that giving birth to a disabled child after 40 is not an uncommon occurrence and you should be ready for that.
How did you know you are ready for another child?
It took me a long time to summon the courage to have a second child. My first had some health and sleeping issues which had left me drained. I needed to come through that fog and pray to know if I was up to it. Once we decided, it took us longer to get pregnant than it had with our first, and suddenly that was all I could think about. Great list of things to consider. It is a big step.
You are soooo right and thumbs up for such an article… people – the ones I know – didn’t think much before having a second or third child. The result, better not commenting… and I think it’s a must to think of all you wrote. Career plans – whether “old” to the previous position, or the market closed for certain ages (it’s a fact, as sad as it sounds). Then the time spent with children, who need attention and financial resources… all must be considered. I loved your post! Hope you have a lovely evening!
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You make really good points here, Marina. The decision to have another child is a big one! A lot of our friends are having second kids right now, but Laura and I have decided to stop with just one. We absolutely love Robbie, but we’ve talked about the same questions you pose in this post, and we decided one is the right number for us! Great post!
These are great questions to think about!
These are some great, practical tips! Thanks for sharing!
I’ve always wanted two children. I initially thought I would have my children two years apart, but once I had my son I knew I needed more time before I would be ready to have another child. I felt like I needed more time to get my son out of diapers, potty-trained, weaned from breastfeeding, sleeping through the night, etc., but I would be ready to add another child into our family. With that being said my kids are four years apart. For me that actually ended up being the perfect amount of time.
This is a great thought starter list. I am at 4 now, and we are done. Unless of course, life has another surprise for us, but 4 felt right and that is where we stopped 🙂